


Not Like Them

by remyjemy



Series: Wolfstar Raises Harry Au (+Regulus) [8]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Established Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, First War with Voldemort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), POV Sirius Black, Post-First War with Voldemort, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin Raise Harry Potter, Wolfstar Raises Harry AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:08:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28906143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remyjemy/pseuds/remyjemy
Summary: Sirius is scared of becoming his parents.
Relationships: Sirius Black & Remus Lupin, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Wolfstar Raises Harry Au (+Regulus) [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2102250
Comments: 3
Kudos: 70





	Not Like Them

**Author's Note:**

> more au!!! ive missed writing for this au, it's one of my faves. love u all!!

Sirius was afraid.

He would never admit that he was afraid, but now it was obvious.

It had been exactly one week since Harry moved in with him and Remu. Three weeks since…

They were gone. Ripped from him. His heart still ached, his mind was still too busy and now, all he could think about is…

_ What if I become them? _

Them being his parents. He’s a Black and it’s in his nature. No matter how hard he tries to get rid of them, they’re still in him. The anger, the judgment, the image.

Sirius looked exactly like his mother, Reg more like his father.

It was scary. Sirius was scared.

He didn’t want to treat little Harry the same way Sirius’ parents treated him.

“Love, I can assure you, you are nothing like them. You are so much better.” Remus had told him one day. “The difference between you and your family is that you’re actively trying to change yourself. You know your faults and you’re trying to get what they ingrained in you, out.”

Still, Sirius was scared.

It was his turn that night to go to Harry if he woke up in the middle of the night. Being one and then some… of course he woke up. Crying as well.

Sirius had him in his arms, swaying and shushing him gently.

“Hush, little one.” He cooed. “You’re safe. I’ve got you.”

Harry cried in Sirius’ arms, “Mummy!”

“I know, darling, I know.” Sirius said, “Just please stop crying.”

Harry didn’t and Sirius didn’t want Remus to wake up.

“Harry!” Sirius snapped quietly, “Stop crying! Please!”

Harry just cried even more.

“Sirius?”

Sirius jumped and looked to the door. A sleepy looking Remus stood at the doorway, a shocked look on his face.

“Don't…” Remus went forward and took Harry from his arms, “Don’t snap at him.”

It sunk in for Sirius. What he just did.

“I-I- I didn't mean it.” Sirius said, voice wobbly.

“Just go to bed, Sirius, I’ll take care of this.” Remus said softly. 

Sirius quickly rushed out of Harry’s room. His chest felt tight and his head was spinning and it was hard to breathe.

“Fuck- shit…” He mumbled, going to the bathroom and locking himself in.

He looked in the mirror and he saw his mother staring back at him.

_ You’re worthless. _

_ You’re a disappointment. _

_ You’re a freak. _

_ You aren't my son. _

_ Let me show you what happens to blood traitors like you. _

Sirius could practically feel the slap across his face. He could feel curses being used against him, scars forming on his skin.

He would always run to his room after, locking himself in and not coming out for days. Regulus would slide little drawings under the door and make Kreature bring Sirius food.

His mother would scream at him to come out of his room, but Sirius was clever. He’d be able to keep his door shut tight. Safe.

_ Sirius, come out of there this instant! _

_ Sirius, open the door! _

_ Open the door! _

“Sirius, please open the door, love.”

Sirius looked to the door. Remus. His Remus.

He opened the door, and there stood an extremely worried Remus, “Are you okay?” He asked, cupping Sirius’ cheeks.

Sirius slowly shook his head, not saying anything.

“C’mere, let’s go to bed.” Remus said softly. 

Sirius sniffed and followed his Moony back to bed, laying down and pulling a pillow to his chest. Remus laid down behind him and spooned him.

“I’m not mad at you… I’ve gotten frustrated over Harry as well…” Remus whispered into Sirius’ hair.

Sirius didn’t say anything.

“You will never be like any of them… I promise you.” Remus kept going. “You are so much better. You do your best to be kind to everyone, you always wait to get to know someone before judging them… maybe except for Snape.” He chuckled. “You’re an amazing person, Padfoot. There’s a reason why they chose you to be godfather and not me.”

Sirius sighed, “Thanks, Moons… that means a lot.”

“I love you with all my heart, Sirius. I understand how you’re feeling. It’s a lot to take in. Them being gone… arguing with Dumbledore and… actually getting Harry. It’s hard to raise a child.”

“But there is no one else I’d rather do it with.” Sirius whispered.

Remus smiled and kissed the back of Sirius’ neck, “Me either.”

“Maybe we should hire a babysitter… take a night to ourselves.” Sirius suggested.

“Or maybe we can use that time for a full night's sleep.” Remus grinned.

“That sounds nice as well.”

“Then it’s settled. We get a babysitter and sleep.” Remus said happily.

“Sounds perfect.” Sirius turned around, facing Remus.

Remus kissed Sirius softly, “Just like you.”

“And you.” Sirius added.

“We’re great parents.” Remus said.

“Oh the best, Harry will be smoking by age nine.” Sirius teased.

“Oi! I’ve quit!” Remus laughed.

“Sure you have.” Sirius rolled his eyes.

Remus shoved Sirius lighty, “Go to bed, you dork.”

“Fine, fine!” Sirius smiled, “Kiss me goodnight?”

Remus leaned in and pressed a kiss against Sirius’ lips. It was a loving kiss, a whole conversation passing through them without saying a word. Remus pulled back and hugged Sirius closer. 

“I love you more than the stars.” Remus whispered.

“I love you more than the moon.” Sirius whispered back. “Always.”

  
  



End file.
